The ongoing saga of our internet connection and some more news that's even harder to believe

After 3 months of complaining to Wanadoo that our internet connection isn't working properly, and three months of them saying it will be fixed in 5 days (their definition of days could be similar to the ones in Genesis where one day=an age of the earth) we finally had enough and cancelled our service with them. This means that for the last week we've been without internet access and explains the lack of posts from me this week. Today we found out that wanadoo had disconnected us and so I took on the job of signing us up with a new broadband company. This, technically should be easy but of course, isn't. I tried to sign up with Virgin.net. However, and this may explain the name of the company, every time I got to a certain point in the sign up procedure it told me that it really didn't want to go any further and that maybe I should take things slowly and look at some other broadband companies if I wanted that sort of instant gratification that means that it'll actually do what it says it will. So I tried BT instead, I knew their reputation for being cheap, easy and, according to Lloyd at least, going down at least once a week. I gave BT my phone number and my account number, both of which they originally gave me, and they told me they didn't exist and should go away unless I wanted to phone them, which would of course cost more money. So at this point, after 3 hours and 3 cappucicnos in the natural cafe I am no closer to having any sort of satisfying experience than I was when I got here in the first place.

Now for that hard to believe news.
For reasons that are unlikely to become clear at this point [it's a long story involving the charity I work for, a friend that will remain nameless (although certainly not blameless) and a rock and a hard place] I have been invited to join the Queen and possibly her diplomatically challenged husband at the Buckingham Palace Garden Party on the 20th July. I shall be taking Lizzy for moral support and also for the sandwiches. Obviously most people who know me know my particular feelings on the monarchy (somewhere between indifference and complete and utter pointlessness) will realise exactly how funny this is, especially given that I have to wear 'Morning Dress', whatever that is. I'm sure it will be an interesting experience, but just as a side note, I had to give mine and Lizzy's details to the palace this week so that the invitations would reach us by the date of the party. 'Surely the British post can't be that slow?' I can tell you're asking and of course, it's not. The reason the details now is that they need to write the 24'000 invitations (8'000 at each of the three garden parties) by hand. Yes, someone is paid (probably with our own tax money) to hand write 24'000 invitations. Surely the palace has at least one computer somewhere?

Anyway, should go now. No idea when I'll post again, hopefully I'll sort out our internet problems with a phonecall to BT (although I wouldn't bet on it). I wanted to post a poem by Spike Milligan that I discovered the other day, but I can't cos I forgot the book and can't find it on the internet so I'll do that next time.